Five FREE Books, this week only!
I love giving back to my readers. One way to do that is to offer my books FREE. This week I got together with four other authors, and each of us is giving away a free book! Free the week’s November 13-17, 2023. The Books Living the Vida Lola, by Melissa Bourbon (me!) Spying in High Heels, by Gemma Halliday Christmas, Criminals, and Campers, by Tonya Kappes Fields’ Guide to Abduction, by Julie Mulhern Bundle of Trouble, by Diana Orgain Enjoy!
Unwrap the magic of Christmas with cozy mysteries!
Unwrap the magic of Christmas with these cozy mysteries! They will definitely help you get into the holiday spirit with festive tales of sleuths, snow, and surprises. Christmas Cozies. Is there anything better? I’d venture to say that, no, there definitely isn’t. I’ve written four Christmas cozies and I adore each one. each one is from a different series. God Rest Ye Murdered Gentleman, a Foxy Ladies Mystery Get ready for a Foxy Ladies Christmas novella featuring Hattie Juniper Pickle, and her Foxy Lady friends Maude, Cricket, and Lemon. Big Christmas fun! Lola Baby, A Lola Cruz Mystery When Camacho & Associates receive an enigmatic invitation to a lavish Christmas party, novice PI Lola Cruz can’t resist the intrigue. When she arrives with her reluctant boss, her even more reluctant boyfriend, and her biggest frenemy in tow, however, nothing is as it seems. The millionaire host who sent the invitation has just passed away, yet his dying wish was for the holiday party to proceed. Now Lola must race against time to solve a series of riddles with clues left by the murder victim himself that will unveil the identity of his killer. Each clue leads her closer to untangling the web of deception but also puts her in danger’s path because everyone is a suspect. Will Lola uncover the murderer’s identity before it’s too late, or will the truth be hidden forever, shrouded in the darkness of a snowy Christmas night? “Lola Baby” is a heart-warming puzzle of a mystery for those craving a holiday whodunnit with a touch of Christmas magic. Deadly Patterns, a Harlow Cassidy Magical Dressmaking Mystery Bliss, Texas, is gearing up for its annual Winter Wonderland festival, but when a mysterious Scrooge ends the merriment with murder, it’ll take more than a ghost from Christmas past to set things right. Designing a holiday fashion show set in the town’s most prominent historic mansion seems like a job tailor made for dressmaker Harlow Jane Cassidy. But with the mansion’s restoration still in progress and threatening weather on the horizon, she’s feeling on pins and needles more than reveling in holiday cheer. Having volunteered to play Santa in this year’s festival, Dan Lee Chrisson was ready to move on after his divorce—until Bliss became his final resting place. Discovering his body puts Harlow at the scene of the crime. She’ll need plenty of help from friends and even her late great-grandmother’s spirited sleuthing if she’s to have a ghost of a chance of catching a killer who’s just jumped to the top of the naughty list…. A Murder Yule Regret, a Bread Shop Mystery Freelance photographer and Yeast of Eden bakery assistant Ivy Culpepper has just scored the job of a lifetime shooting the Dickensian dress-up X-mas party thrown by It Girl film actress Eliza Fox . . . until an unwanted guest appears. A holiday costume party in the sleepy coastal town of Santa Sofia could be just the boost Ivy needs for her fledgling photography business. At the party, Ivy enters a Victorian fantasy come to life, all courtesy of the fabulous Ms. Fox. Ivy gets to play shutterbug while hanging with Scrooge, Marley, the Cratchits, and more classic Dickens characters. But what begins as the best of times turns out to be the very worst for one of the party guests—a tabloid journalist with more enemies than Ebenezer himself. When the man’s body is found sprawled across the jagged rocks below the house, the fingers begin pointing at Eliza. Meanwhile, Ivy gets roped into helping prove the starlet’s innocence. Her festive photos are now official evidence—and the Ghosts of Christmas Present could mean the party for Eliza is over, once and for all. See all my books on the bookshelf!
Pleating for Mercy is 99¢!
Yep, yep, to celebrate the release of Bobbin for Answers, this magical cozy mystery with sewing, a goat, and a ghost is on sale for 99¢. About the Book When her great-grandmother passes away, Harlow Jane Cassidy leaves her job as a Manhattan fashion designer and moves back to Bliss, Texas. But when she opens a dressmaking boutique in the turn-of-the-century farmhouse she inherited, Harlow senses an inexplicable “presence”. Is Meemaw really gone, or she now Harlow’s ghostly roommate? Her old friend Josie orders a gown for her upcoming wedding, but when Josie’s boss turns up dead, Harlow has to find the killer-with a little help from beyond. On Sale So grab this magical cozy mystery while it is on sale for 99¢. Also it’s always in Kindle Select, so free from Kindle Unlimited readers! If you haven’t started this series, now is the perfect time to get going! Start reading HERE. See the Book Page HERE.
When to Change the Title and Cover of a Book
When to Change the Cover or Title of a Book One of the tricky parts of being an indie author is knowing when to change the cover or title of a book. Of course, the fact that you can make that change fairly easily is a huge plus. Conventional wisdom says that if a book isn’t selling, it’s either the cover, the title, or the story itself. I trust that my stories are good ?. Title or Cover So then it comes down to the title and/or the cover. Such was the case with A Pickle of a Murder, which is the first book in the Foxy Ladies Mystery series. It’s a spin-off from the Book Magic series and features Hattie Juniper Pickle as the protagonist, and the Foxy Ladies, which are Hattie and her friends Lemon, Maude, and Cricket. When it Doesn’t Feel Right Something about the original cover and title just didn’t do it for me. It didn’t feel quite right. This led me to a decision: should I or should I not change the cover or title of the book? The Cover As I pondered the decision of whether or not to change the cover or title of the book, I tossed around various ideas, starting with the cover. While I love the cat pictured on the original (Carrot in the book, Buffy in real life as she’s my mom’s actual cat), the rest of it just fell flat for me. Part of it, I think, is that Hattie is such an eccentric character and so full of zest for life. The original cover doesn’t capture any of that. The Title The next thing to consider about changing the cover or title of the book was the title. A Pickle of a Murder didn’t feel quite right. Sure, it’s a cute play on words since Hattie’s last name is Pickle, but for me, it wasn’t a book I’d pick up in the store. It didn’t grab me. And Hattie definitely wasn’t in the title, either. The Power of Three Now, I’m a firm believer in the Power of Three. The human psyche responds to things in threes. I’ll talk more about that some other time. Books with a series of three things in their titles are hugely popular. Look at Diane Kelly’s Death and Taxes series, beginning with Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure. Then there is Tonya Kappes’s Camper series where every book is an alliterative series of three things as in Beaches, Bungalows, and Burglaries. Deciding on the Title Finally, I decided that both the title and the cover of the book needed to change. I played around with various titles and even did a poll on Instagram and Facebook. Eventually, I landed on Love, Lies, and Lousy Exes. Hattie, bless her heart, has had several husbands (one of them she married twice!). ‘Lousy Exes‘ really worked for me, ‘Lies’ conveyed a bit of mystery, and ‘Love‘ is what she’s after. It was the fan favorite. Working on the Cover When it came to changing the cover, I took more time. I searched image sites and even tried an AI program, but nothing felt right. Nothing screamed: Hattie! Then I found this image: I immediately loved it and it felt right. This was Hattie. Putting it Together Having made the decision to change the title and cover of the book, I began playing around on Canva, using different backgrounds, design elements, and fonts. Bit by bit, the entire thing came together and it was…LOVE. Is it Cozy Enough? I’ve had some people say that it doesn’t strike them as ‘cozy’ enough–that it’s more rom-com. Maybe, but it certainly captures Hattie’s colorful personality. Plus I created the cute little Foxy Ladies Mystery logo: Now that I’ve changed both the title and the cover of this book, it’s time to wait. We’ll see how it goes with sales. That’ll tell the tale, won’t it? Then, if need be, I can change again. Deciding whether or not to change the title and/or cover can be a tough decision to make. When you think about it, though, it’s akin to painting a room. If you don’t like the way it turns out, you can redo it. Easy, peasy. Behold the new cover and title for the first Foxy Ladies Cozy Mystery Series. Check out all my books HERE!
Five Days of FREE Cozy Mysteries from Five Mystery Authors
When you love Cozy Mysteries, you love Cozy Mysteries, so how about a giveaway of five Cozy Mysteries from five bestselling authors? That’s what is happening this week. On Monday, get Pleating for Mercy, by Melissa Bourbon. On Tuesday, the free cozy mystery is Fixin’ to Die, by Tonya Kappes. Wednesday brings you Fries & Alibis, by Trixie Silvertale. Thursday get Downward Death by Stella Bixby. And end the week with Witcher Upper, by Amy Boyles. These books will give you hours of entertainment, compliments of the five of us. Enjoy and happy, happy reading! And if you love Pleating for Mercy, get the rest of the series HERE! Monday Get Pleating for Mercy, by Melissa Bourbon (that’s me!). About the book: When her great-grandmother passes away, Harlow Jane Cassidy leaves her job as a Manhattan fashion designer and moves back to Bliss, Texas. But when she opens a dressmaking boutique in the turn-of-the-century farmhouse she inherited, Harlow senses an inexplicable “presence”. Is Meemaw really gone, or she now Harlow’s ghostly roommate? Her old friend Josie orders a gown for her upcoming wedding, but when Josie’s boss turns up dead, Harlow has to find the killer–with a little help from beyond. Tuesday Get Fixin’ to Die, by Tonya Kappes Kenni Lowry likes to think the zero crime rate in Cottonwood, Kentucky is due to her being sheriff, but she quickly discovers the ghost of her grandfather, the town’s previous sheriff, has been scaring off any would-be criminals since she was elected. When the town’s most beloved doctor is found murdered on the very same day as a jewelry store robbery, and a mysterious symbol ties the crime scenes together, Kenni must satisfy her hankerin’ for justice by nabbing the culprits. With the help of her poppa, a lone deputy, and an annoyingly cute, too-big-for-his-britches State Reserve officer, Kenni must solve both cases and prove to the whole town, and herself, that she’s worth her salt before time runs out. Wednesday Get Fries & Alibis, by Trixie Stilvertale A gift that’s too good to be true. A murder she didn’t commit. A barista in a latte trouble… Mitzy Moon believes she’s an orphan, so she’s dumbstruck when a special delivery to her low-rent apartment reveals a family. But her shock turns to awe when she discovers her grandmother left her a fortune and a bookshop of rare tomes brimming with magic. No sooner does she set foot in the quirky village of Pin Cherry Harbor to claim her inheritance, than the handsome sheriff catches her standing over a corpse. Desperate to prove her innocence, she’s forced to accept help from her granny’s entitled cat and a spirit from beyond the grave. Can Mitzy and her otherworldly helpers uncover the real killer before the long, sexy arm of the law hauls her to jail? Fries and Alibis is the first book in the hilarious paranormal cozy mystery series, Mitzy Moon Mysteries. (Complete series available now!) If you like amateur sleuths, small town intrigue, and a dash of the supernatural, then you’ll love Trixie Silvertale’s twisty whodunit. Download Fries and Alibis to serve up the guilty today! Thursday Get Downward Death, by Stella Bixby Ellie Vanderwick has hair-raising problems, and we’re not just talking about her unruly locks! Yoga may ease the tension, but when it comes to dead bodies, she needs more than just downward dog. Her life may seem imperfect without friends, family, or a stable job, but she’s got her trusty VW Microbus named Mona and her loyal piggy companion, Penelope. Unfortunately, her hair is a different story. It’s like magic, but not the kind she likes! Her hair can go berserk at any moment, transforming into curls, bright purple, or even limp strands. But when Ellie inherits a farm from her late grandmother, she knows it’s time to tame the wild strands and uncover the secrets of her past, including why her mother left her at a fire station years ago. Cliff Haven, Iowa, is a quaint and friendly town, but Ellie’s arrival brings more than just her wild hair. When a dead body turns up in her cornfield, the town starts pointing fingers, suspecting Ellie is the culprit. Can she solve the mystery and clear her name before it’s too late? Join Ellie on this magical journey in the first book of the “Magical Mane Mystery” series. Will she untangle the clues, or will her big hairy secret come out? One thing’s for sure; you’ll be rooting for Ellie from start to finish! Friday Get Witcher Upper, by Amy Boyles Southern gal Clementine Cooke is busy. The house renovation business she runs with her best friend in the small town of Peachwood, Alabama, is thriving. That is until Clementine discovers her partner dead, encased in poured concrete. It looks like murder. Clementine starts to investigate, quickly realizing that not only had her so-called best friend spent years lying to her, but plenty of folks wanted her dead–from the unionized wizard mafia to the old lady quilting club. But even with haters coming out of the woodwork, Clementine finds herself fighting off suspicion. She must locate the killer before the local police chief tosses her in jail and throws away the key. With no one to turn to, she enlists the help of a wizard suffering from amnesia. But there’s a hitch–he might not remember who he is, but Clementine does, and for her own reasons, she’s not talking. Can Clementine clear her name and save her business? Or will this be one magical renovation that winds up in demolition?
Create your own Personal Cozy Reading Space
Do you want to discover the essential elements of a cozy reading corner? If you’re an avid reader like me, then you probably do. Y’all, I crave reading time. I also crave peace and coziness. That doesn’t always happen because, like most people, my life is super busy. Discovering the essential elements of a cozy reading corner and creating my own personal space where I can escape into the world of books was essential. It’s a precious luxury. If you’re an avid reader like I am, a cozy reading corner is probably something you crave. I have some ideas for you to create your own cozy nook. Here we go! It Starts with Location Discovering the essential elements of a cozy reading corner means finding a great location. We have a sunroom in our house. The floor slopes, but there is a bookshelf and lots of windows with beautiful light. When you think about creating a cozy reading corner, you have to select a location that makes you happy. If you’re like me and love natural light, then look for a spot that has that, if possible–like near a window or under a skylight. If natural light isn’t in the cards, a soft, warm-toned light fixture can help create a cozy atmosphere. Comfort is Key I can’t read if I’m not comfortable, can you? So choose a comfy place to lounge in a cozy reading corner. A plush, oversized chair or a comfortable sofa with soft cushions can make all the difference. I love snuggling, so I suggest adding a soft throw blanket and a few throw pillows to curl up with during your chilly reading sessions. Bookshelves or Book Nooks You gotta have books nearby in a cozy reading corner! On a shelf is aesthetically pleasing, so if you have a book nook or shelf in your cozy corner, all the better. Floating shelves or a small bookcase will work. Make your space welcoming. I like to arrange my books pretty neatly, although I don’t go so far as to organize them by genre or color. You do you. If a shelf isn’t possible, just stack those puppies horizontally and place a cozy chair beside them. Make it Personal Make your cozy reading corner feel like your own by adding personal touches. I love family photos, a few special items and a pretty little crystal mini-tree my son brought me from Dubai for positive energy. I also have a lot of art in my house. It helps that my best friends are artists, as are my mom and brother. Their art on my walls makes my space so personal. Maybe you like quotes. If so, frame a few from your favorite authors. Hang artwork that resonates with you. Or display souvenirs from your literary adventures. Plants make me happy, so I have…plants! These are the things that will make your cozy reading nook yours. Cozy Flooring Rugs do a lot to warm up your cozy reading nook, so if you have hardwood or tile, add an area rug. They can help make a space warm and comfy. Choose colors that make you happy! A Side Table for Essentials I only have a little tiny table and a wicker elephant that holds a plant in my cozy reading nook, but that’s all I need. Well, I also have an ottoman. A place for my hot tea or water is all I need. Having a side table for your nicknacks is a nice touch. Ambiance, Baby Set the mood with some ambient elements in your cozy reading room. By this I mean a scented candle or essential oil diffuser (love oil diffusers). A little background music or nature sounds can be a nice touch if it makes you happy.
A Peek of Life as an Author with Events and Signings
Valerie Burns, Michael Falco, Traci Hall, Melissa Bourbon, Krista Davis, Darci Hannah, Lynn Cahoon, Carlene O’Connor Have you ever wondered what life is like as an author with events and signings? That’s what I’m sharing about today…a peek behind the author curtain. I recently attended author events in Wisconsin and South Carolina. And let me tell you, events like these are huge perks to being an author. Going places where readers are and getting to talk to them is such an honor. The Events These author events in Wisconsin and South Carolina are what most of the last week and a half have been about for me. And it was super busy. It started last Thursday with a flight to Madison Wisconsin where I was one of the key speakers at the Big Wisconsin Quilt Show. Watch the video to hear about that adventure! It Starts Early Starting is sometimes way too early! For me, these crazy ten days started at 4 AM when I headed to the Raleigh-Durham airport for a 7 AM flight. We were boarded and ready to go when the pilot announced a problem with one of the engines. We had to disembark. Of course, the problem for me was that I had a connecting flight in Charlotte that I was now going to miss, and I was scheduled to be the evening’s speaker on day one of the Big Wisconsin Quilt Show. Pushing Through Needless to say, I was a wee bit stressed! The line to rebook at the gate was SO long. I decided to go outside of security to try there, but as I walked the next gate over had no one in line. I zipped over there and got my ticket rebooked for an 11 o’clock flight to Charlotte. I arrived at the Madison airport at 3:45, raced to the hotel in an Uber, and was ready to talk at 6 PM at the show. First Stop, Wisconsin Despite the troubles in getting there, the event in Madison, Wisconsin went GREAT! The room was filled with quilt lovers, sewers, quilters, and readers. After my talk, there was a book signing. The best part though was that several people came just to see me! Y’all, as an author, that is very exciting and always will be. Next Stop, Texas The adventure continued the very next morning. From Wisconsin, I flew to Texas to help my parents with the last part of a big move to a smaller house. We all love the house and are also so glad the move is over. Finally, Charleston Finally, my daughter and I went to Charleston in South Carolina for the Kensington CozyCon, in collaboration with Turning Page Bookstore. I got to see old author friends and meet new ones. And it was so fun doing panels and talking to readers.And the added bonus of getting a mother-daughter weekend was perhaps the best part. These Are the Perks of Being an Author These types of events like the ones in Madison, Wisconsin, and the CozyCon in Charleston, South Carolina are some of the best perks of being an author. I’m grateful to each and every reader, and all of you for stopping by my website. I hope to see you in the pages of my book! Check them out HERE! Melissa Bourbon and a Reader Melissa Bourbon and a Readers Melissa Bourbon at the signing table Melissa Bourbon and a Reader Melissa Bourbon and Turning Page Bookstore Owner Valinda Miller South Carolina Melissa Bourbon at Book Signing Big Wisconsin Quilt Show Favorite Quilt Big Wisconsin Quilt Show Favorite Quilt Big Wisconsin Quilt Show Favorite Quilt Big Wisconsin Quilt Show Favorite Quilt Big Wisconsin Quilt Show Favorite Quilt Big Wisconsin Quilt Show Favorite Quilt Dinner in Texas at San Danielle in Coppell Texas Author Melissa Bourbon Author Melissa Bourbon Author Melissa Bourbon
As a Writer, this is Why I Love Extraordinary Attorney Woo
Listen to the Podcast Episode I did about Attorney Woo’s Hero’s Journey. As a Writer, there are so many reasons to love Extraordinary Attorney Woo. First and foremost, she is a hero. She is. Truly. A bonafide hero. And as a writer, I can’t get enough of her. In case you’ve missed this phenomenal show, here’s the summary from ENA/Netflix: Attorney Woo (Woo Young-Woo) is an extraordinary attorney who has Autistic Spectrum Disorder. This fact offers her unique perspectives on her cases, but is also limiting. I recognize the hero in Woo Young Woo. As a writer, finding I love so much, as I dod Extraordinary Attorney Woo is magical. On my WriterSpark Academy website, I’ve done a Hero’s Journey breakdown of episode one of Extraordinary Attorney Woo. You can check that out HERE. I also did a podcast episode on this amazing character. You can listen to that HERE. This is what I do in my spare time ? As far as heroes go, Woo Young-Woo is an unlikely one. She is the first autistic attorney in the Republic of Korea, a graduate of Seoul, South Korea, and while she is utterly brilliant when it comes to the law, her understanding of social norms and relationships is lacking. Like, really, severely lacking. Attorney Woo’s Childhood Woo Young-Woo did not speak until she was 5 years old, and when she did speak, it was citing law and criminal code from the mountains of books her father had. You see, he was in law school but ended up having to leave for reasons that are revealed later in the season. At the Beginning Woo Young-Woo is hired as a brand new rookie attorney at Hanbada Law Firm. Here are a few things about her: She struggles to look people in the eye She must count to three before walking into a room/new space She only eats gimbap (it’s predictable in look and taste) She is passionate about whales This young woman is unique and lovable. Her Whale-izations! As is the case for many autistic people, Woo Young-Woo has a single-minded obsession– whales. She sees them, loves them, and knows everything about them. The animation in the show is really special. When she sees them, she has a realization about something. I call them her whale-izations. Wow Young-Woo’s Obstacles Like any great hero, Wow Young-Woo faces many obstacles, both with the law and personally. And how she does this is wonderfully satisfying. She has her people, those who are on her side. There is a romantic interest, and this storyline is so touching. And there is just so much more! Extraordinary Attorney Woo is a wonderful TV show. Y’all, if you haven’t seen it, fix that…NOW! If you love Wednesday Addams, check out this post on HER.
The Depth and Appeal of Wednesday Addams in 21 Quotes
Wednesday Addams is a Cultural Icon Have you discovered the depth and appeal of Wednesday Addams (in 21 quotes!) in the new Netflix show, Wednesday? Jenna Ortega brings new layers to the iconic character and has made her even more of a cultural icon than she already was. Ahhh, Wednesday. She is morose. Pale. She has dark hair, usually braided. She wears black dresses and tights and comes across as a very dark soul. Probably because she’s partly dead inside, right? The History of Wednesday Wednesday got her start in the original television show back in 1938, when she was a young girl and had sweetness in her. Next came the reboot of the Addams Family movies with Christina Ricci as the youngest Addams child. This portrayal leaned much darker, with a definite sadistic edge to the girl. And now there is the Netflix original show, Wednesday, with the title character played by Jenna Ortega. Also, how fun that Christina Ricci is in this Addams Family spin-off! Anyway, the Wednesday in this incarnation is sarcastic and has a darkly perverted side to her, but she’s also, clearly, a reserved teenager who doesn’t know how to make or have friends and doesn’t know how to function in Nevermore Academy setting. Her depth and appeal are undeniable. Jenna Ortega as the iconic Wednesday Addams In the Netflix show, Wednesday, the title role is played by Jenna Ortega. She has totally taken the world by storm…and it’s easy to see why. Her portrayal of Wednesday has nuanced depth. She is dark, yet at the same time, she’s so likable. Plus the girl is just quirky, which is another reason she’s so appealing. It’s true that all the actors who have played Wednesday have captured depth in her character. However, Jenna Ortega, in my opinion, has peeled back even more layers of Wednesday, taking her to new depths. She’s made her dark, but we still want her as our friend. For a girl who should be so utterly unlikable, Jenna Ortega makes her extremely accessible with just a hint of real vulnerability buried deep inside. Wednesday is a Walking Paradox You see, Wednesday Addams is a walking paradox. An enigma. And that is part of what makes her so appealing. We catch glimpses of humanity in her, glimmers of light in her darkness. For example: She is part dead inside, but she has a heart. She’s morose, yet oddly learns to care for people. She’s sarcastic, but underneath that brutally dark exterior is a girl who also learns to care. She doesn’t know how to be a friend—or how to have a friend—until the people who want to be her friend won’t let her escape. Wednesday Addams as Inspiration It’s interesting how something sneaks into your subconscious and takes hold. For example, I recently wrote book seven in my Harlow Cassidy Magical Dressmaking Mystery Series and Wednesday proved to be a big inspiration, not only for the dress design (as you can see on the cover of Bobbin for Answers) but for Harlow as she slips into Wednesday’s essence. First for the dress. The famous dance Wednesday does in, and the moody black dress she wears, stuck with me. I wanted to use it somehow. Bobbin for Answers is a Halloween-themed book. When I was deciding exactly how to incorporate the All Hallow’s Eve vibes into this Magical Dressmaking installment, the dress immediately came to mind, like a spider suddenly dropping from a gossamer string of webs straight into my consciousness. Next came the dance. I had to incorporate the famous Wednesday dance into the party scene, which takes place just before the dead body is discovered. Finally, the one-liners. Because, oh my, they are so good! Wednesday’s One-Liners When you think about Wednesday’s one-liners, you realize that they are very quotable quotes. She is the master of biting one-liners, and Jenna Ortega delivers each one perfectly. Kudos to the writers of this show. I mean, who comes up with a line like: “Everyone knows it. When you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die”? Uttered with the wrong tone or intonation, such a line could come off as…well, bad. Very bad. But when Jenna’s Wednesday delivers it, it’s darkly perfect. In my research—i.e., watching the series again—I was enamored with all the deadpanned one-liners Wednesday continually speaks. This led me to gather twenty-one Wednesday quotes right here for you. If I’ve missed any of your favorites, leave them in the comments! 21 Perfectly Perfect Wednesday Addams Quotes 1. “This story is about taking a dark turn. Usually, I love dark turns. Like when the carousel brakes mysteriously failed at my eighth birthday party.” 2. “I’m not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago… but I admire the sadism.” 3. “I may not have a cell phone, but you don’t have a crossbow, and I thought everybody did.” 4. “I’m not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material. I will ignore you, stomp on your heart, and always put my needs and interests first..” 5. “Listen, people like me and you, we’re different. We’re original thinkers, intrepid outliers in this vast cesspool of adolescence. We don’t need these inane rites of passage to validate who we are.” 6. “I don’t believe in mandatory volunteer work, sugar-coated history, or happy endings. But most of all… I don’t believe in coincidences.” 7. “It’s Amateurs Like You Who Give Kidnapping A Bad Name!” 8. “I Find Social Media To Be A Soul-Sucking Void Of Meaningless Affirmation.” 9. “I Prefer To Be Vilified.” 10. “She’s been smothering me with hospitality. I hope to return the favor… in her sleep.” 11. “Sometimes I act like I don’t care if people like me. Deep down, I secretly enjoy it.” 12. “Are you mansplaining my power?” 13. “You brought a gun to a sword fight. Probably the first smart decision you’ve made today.” 14. “I know I’m stubborn, single-minded, and obsessive. But those are all traits of great writers. Yes, and serial killers — what’s your point?” 15. “What kind of dystopian hellscape is this?” 16. “Unrecognizable? Ridiculous? A classic example of female objectification for the male gaze?” 17. “I know. She’s both my literary hero and nemesis. And I have two years and 364 days to beat her.” 18. “Enid, the mark you have left on me is indelible. Anytime I grow nauseous at the sight of a rainbow or hear a pop song that makes my ears bleed, I’ll think of you.” 19. “It’s not my fault I can’t interpret your emotional Morse code.” 20. “The Black Dahlia, of course. It’s named after my favorite unsolved murder.” 21. “I’m not interested in participating in tribal adolescent clichés.”